HiatusMedia

Bohemian slaves since 1990

Thursday, 6 November 2008

My Little Pony

by Joseph O'Brien
photography by Christopher Fraser


Once upon a time, Joseph O'Brien bought a My Little Pony, and a lighter, and combined the two. Then Christopher came and took some photos, and they had a whale of a time waiting for their wonderful pictures to upload to a notoriously slow site because they had (at the time) close to no lives whatsoever.

To download wallpaper versions of images, right click the links underneath each one and select Save Target As....



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The Art Archives

A Picture of Joe in Austria
by Christopher Fraser
A harkening back to the time when we were innocent, sweet and friendless.

by Christopher Fraser
Something which is almost a tenth as good as it sounds.

by Christopher Fraser
The remnants of a movement.

by Christopher Fraser (with Joseph O'Brien and Matthew Aplin)
The remnants of a celebrated cartoon.

by Joseph O'Brien (with Christopher Fraser)
Some "modern art".

by Christopher Fraser
A fantastically bad cartoon, the last of Chris's animation career.

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Art

How To Be A Homosexual
by Christopher Fraser and Joseph O'Brien
This project, featuring the adventures of a series of apparently random personified objects encompasses all areas of literature, art and even audio, but its most famous incarnation was the animation series XavierFace, which can be found here.

by Joseph O'Brien
Now aging somewhat, the original sketches by Joseph O'Brien, hailing right from the start of HiatusMedia can now be found here in a much better layout.

by Christopher Fraser (with Joseph O'Brien)
Inspired by a drama lesson in which a Goblin killed himself after drink-driving, this first (and perhaps last) serious endeavour into Flash animation by Christopher Fraser is the closest to a masterpiece we will ever get in such a realm.

by Christopher Fraser
The adventure of a sperm cell, angry at being rejected by the womb and setting out to destroy the world, set to the music of Interpol.

All the rubbish pieces of art that were never really good enough to proclaim as art themselves. Including: The NSPCD, Consumerism, My Little Pony and others.

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The NSPCD

The NSPCD was a joint venture between Christopher Fraser and ex-member and wanker Simon Bamforth, as a result of a Year 10 science lesson in which a wind-up duck toy was shamelessly exploited to explain kinetic energy to a bunch of people who had little interest in Physics, and more interest in duck abuse. At one point, there was a rather large campaign, with posters all over school, but now it has been reduced back down to its origins - all that survive are a poster and wallpaper image, both of which can be found below.

POSTER (click to enlarge)

















WALLPAPER (click to enlarge)

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A Picture of Joe in Austria

If you were expecting any massive surprise here, we're afraid you're about to be disappointed - this is indeed just a picture of Joseph O'Brien holidaying in the wonderful country of Austria, in the summer of 2004.


Picture taken at Hohenwerfen Castle, Austria by Christopher Fraser

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Maplin: The Movie



Maplin: The Movie
Animated by Christopher Fraser
Featuring the voices of Joseph O'Brien and Matthew Aplin
Music by celador and Eels

Maplin: The Movie was, essentially, Christopher's first big hit. It was split into two parts - the first being a fairly retarded spoof of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire called "Who Wants To Be A Complete Loser", with Matthew in the hotseat, and the other part featuring Matthew driving off a cliff. It wasn't particularly good (despite protests), funny (again, despite protests) or memorable (despite "OR FOUR: A SMALL HIPPOPOTAMUS CALLED BERTIE" becoming a short-lived and rather unlikely catchphrase of the time).

A poster was also produced in the spirit of the moment, and can be downloaded in the following formats (right-click on the links under the image and select Save Target As..., or left-click them and save the image in the new window):

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Blowing Up Jesus



Blowing Up Jesus
by Christopher Fraser

Despite its controversial name, Blowing Up Jesus was just the image-by-image product of an afternoon on Lego Creator with Matthew Aplin, meticulously constructing the word "JESUS", then attaching Lego dynamite and blowing it up. There would be video, but at the time I didn't have any decent screen capture software, so a step-by-step image series will have to do.

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Consumerism



Consumerism
by Christopher Fraser
end music by Sigur Ros

Consumerism was initially intended as a good piece of work, until it bombed in the animation ratings (yes, they exist) and it was thrown out, perhaps for seeming to be a little too desperate to mimic David Firth, and the fact that it wasn't really very good at all. Desperate to salvage some credibility, the name "Consumerism" was attached at the last minute, to see if the American public would get that it was really about being too greedy around Christmas (which was when it was first published).

It didn't work. Incidentally, neither does the replay button at the end.

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Monday, 25 August 2008

The Audio Archives

Boulevard of Broken Biscuits
by Christopher Fraser and Joseph O'Brien
Put two fifteen-year-olds in a room with a microphone and a guitar, and this, embarrassingly, is the result. Cover of the Green Day song.

by Joseph O'Brien
An ode to one's brethren.

by Christopher Fraser
An abysmal mess attempting to merge Jonti Picking's badger song and The Time Warp.

by Christopher Fraser
Not nearly as fascist as it sounds. Or badass.

by Joseph O'Brien
A fanboyish series around three very real people.

by Christopher Fraser
A series about a small Yugoslavian child, and his attempts to sing songs about his captor/protector.

by Joseph O'Brien
A series of clips focusing on the mundane to the bizarre, recording over a period of around a year.

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Audio

by Christopher Fraser
A cover of the Yann Tiersen track, featured on the soundtrack for the rather excellent film "Amelie".

by Christopher Fraser
A jazzing-up of the timeless (no pun intended) Doctor Who theme tune, as seen on whomix.trilete.net.

by Christopher Fraser, Joseph O'Brien and Gregory Curzon
Conceived in a classroom, re-imagined by an obsessive and sung to by two people who couldn't sing, a track around backwards Russia.

by Christopher Fraser
The theme for this very website, but also the now-dead cult animation series of How To Be A Homosexual.

Containing: Sessions, Norman Glenchsnap, and Jack, Ashley and James, amongst others.

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Norman Glenchsnap

Norman Glenchsnap
Songwriting Genius

Norman Glenchsnap is the lovechild of Christopher Fraser. He is a twelve-year-old Yugoslavian boy who was transferred to this country in March 2006 after his mother - whom Chris had had a brief affair with in the year 1973 (the year of the Great Yugoslavian War That Never Really Happened) - died. As an expression of gratitude, Norman has vowed to write songs about anyone Christopher has ever met. The resulting product of his mind is often deeply disturbing, not to mention a trifle immature. But then, for a boy whose favourite band is Busted, what do you expect?

WARNING: Some of the following songs contain mild sexual references and the occasional personal insult. Proceed at your own discretion.

To download any of the following songs, right-click on the appropriate titles and select "Save Target As...."

Norman's tribute to Simon Bamforth, set to the tune "Gay Bar" by Electric Six.

Norman's tribute to Rory McGee, set to the tune "Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65)

Norman's tribute to Amelia Phipps, imprisoned in a three chord sequence. Because she likes indie, and that's all any of it is.

Norman's tribute to Rachel Bassett, set to the tune "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes.

Norman's tribute to Joseph O'Brien, set to the tune "Let It Be" by the Beatles.

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The Sieg Heil Song

This song is what I believe to be the exact point where one is scraping the bottom of the barrel of talent, clutching at the last dregs of anything remotely interesting.

This song is bad.
Really, really bad.

It was a bad idea, had a bad backing track and really bad vocals. The only consolation, in fairness, is that it required barely any work. It's even worse than the Badger Time Warp, and that was crap.

In fact, hear for yourself.

To download the song, right-click the following link and select "Save Target As...."

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The I Love You Song

I Love You shouldn't have ever been recorded. A shortish sound clip featuring Bunnyreaper professing his unrequited love to Pianoabuser whilst he was out of the room, I Love You is both funny and disturbing. A good analogy for the rest of the site, then.

WARNING: The following track contains one mild reference to genitalia.

To download the song, right-click the following link and select "Save Target As...."

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The Badger Time Warp

This was an effort to combine two great songs, but thanks to MIDI and Chris's preteen voice, ended up in one terrible shoddy failure. Even so, the basic lyrical and musical content for this song works, even if the production is a little shoddy.

People have even remarked upon this work as good - they're probably lying.

To download the song, right-click the following link and select "Save Target As...."

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Jack, Ashley and James

Jack, Ashley and James was an audio series by Bunnyreaper. It was never intended to be published - the audio files were rattling around his computer - but as usual Pianoabuser stole them and put them online.

WARNING: The following audio clips, and descriptions, contain use of profanity, mild sexual references, and mild violence. Proceed at your own discretion.

You can download each episode by right-clicking on each title and selecting "Save Target As...."

The story of our great saviours, who risked life and limb to save the world from utter peril are thus named Jack, Ashley and James in this first gripping episode. Jack is a boy, along with Ashley, and...James. This episode encompasses all those facts: a) that they are boys, and b) that they are in the same area at the same time. That is, Jack, Ashley and James.

Oh, fuck. Jack, Ashley and James discover the power of immortality, only to be killed. This is the entire plot of this episode. Nothing more. Which means you don't have to waste our bandwidth by clicking the link. But if you really want to, you can.

Another fantastic, thrilling episode of Jack, Ashley and James sees the trio gardening backwards through lack of gardening. Instead, they watch the grass as it grows. Almost as exciting as the hidden episode on this page, where they watch paint dry.

...if I were a young boy, full of potential, and awe of the things around me, I would listen to this episode. However, after the operation, you won't be able to.

I raped a shrew once. It didn't enjoy it. That's why it's called a rape. Alas, after the drugs trial, the shrew was unable to point me out as the rapist, and I was able to get away scot-free. Thus, I was able to defecate on a microphone, and here we are.

Before you listen to this episode, please remember that I was very young, very impressionable, and all the other things that occurred after the recording of this had stolen from the ideas. And because of this, I'm sorry to all the children who are going to have to swallow the interpretations of my faeces, and accept it as truth.

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Boulevard of Broken Biscuits

Boulevard of Broken Biscuits was an early track really recorded just as a bit of a piss about, but turned into something that a) was relatively funny and b) people liked. Recorded in just two takes, the track is below in all its 3 minutes 51 seconds glory.

To download the song, right-click the following link and select "Save Target As...."

Boulevard of Broken Biscuits

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Wednesday, 16 July 2008

Slow Hands



Slow Hands
by Christopher Fraser
music by Interpol

Slow Hands started as an abstract rhythmical experiment with Flash and the music of a rather wondrous rock group, but ended up forming itself into some form of story, involving a rejected sperm trying to take over the world.It was a loose plotline, though.

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The Goblin



The Goblin
by Christopher Fraser
concept by Joseph O'Brien

The only decent Flash animation to surface during Christopher's brief foray into "serious" animation, The Goblin was inspired by a drama lesson, in which students were instructed to perform a brief road safety advert of their own composition. The group with Christopher and Joseph was, obviously, decidedly bizarre, and decided to make a vaudeville-style piece, injecting nonsensical elements such as Goblins and walruses along the way. The animation was created much later, after an audio piece.

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Tuesday, 10 June 2008

We're, like, professional actors.

Something we did a while back for a talent show. We didn't win.

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Saturday, 10 May 2008

La Valse D'Amelie (Cover)

Another little piano ditty, worked out solely by ear.

Only resembling the original tune from the film Amélie slightly (due to the beefed-up octave accompaniment and simplified melody line), this is a nice little tune, though the sound quality isn't fantastic.

To download the song, right-click the following link and select "Save Target As...."

La Valse D'Amelie (Cover)

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Jazz Who

This is easily Christopher's biggest auditory claim to fame on the World Wide Web, and it isn't even that good.

Originally intended as a jazzed-up piano version of the Doctor Who theme, this piece eventually evolved into something which very barely resembled the original, but is at least a nice little piano ditty to listen to.

The piece was put on the Doctor Who fan remix site whomix.trilete.net and has since attracted literally thousands of downloads (partially due to the fact that it was at the top of the list when the site's creator, mutagene, went away).

Not bad for your MP3 collection.

To download the song, right-click on the following link and select "Save Target As...."

Jazz Who

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Innocent Girl

Innocent Girl was a song conceptualised by Bunnyreaper and a fellow named Gregory Curzon, who at the time was the most random person Bunnyreaper knew. Whilst on an incursion to the land of Religious Education, in between playing rummy and poker the two pretended to be Russian, thus spouting the phrase "In Soviet Russia, innocent girl rapes you" - meant to describe the backwards nature of Soviet Russia. This created the song "Innocent Girl".

The time span between the concept and the actual realisation is huge - we're talking about a year. Still, Christopher has a habit of waking the dead, and this he dead in this piece.

WARNING: The following song, although not explicit, contains sexual themes. You should not proceed if under fifteen years old.

To download the song, right-click on the link below and select "Save Target As...."

Innocent Girl

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Hiatus Theme

The Hiatus Theme (formerly known as The Best Song In The World) was the first thing ever to be made and published online under whatever we were then called- probably XavierFace.co.nr. Since then we still haven't got it out of our heads. Originally the Muse cover of Nina Simone's "Feeling Good", this song has been looped, sped up, chopped up and warped beyond anything you could think.

To download the song, right-click on the following link and select "Save Target As...."

Hiatus Theme

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Sessions

Sessions is the collective name for all of Joe's (bunnyreaper's) old solo audio works. They can all be found below. To listen, simply left click, and the file will play in a new window. We ask, however, that rather than return numerous times to listen and waste our bandwidth, that you save the file to your computer by right-clicking and selecting 'Save Target As...".

WARNING: Some of the following tracks contain profanity, strong sexual references, and violent language. Users under the age of 18 should not proceed.

Session 1 - A 37-second clip about arsenic tweed.

Session 2 - 55 seconds of forks.

Session 3 - A lesson on how to have babies.

Session 4 - An idea for the 'Don't Drink And Drive global campaign. The inspiration for The Goblin. 1 minute.

Session 5 - Where Joe describes a non-existent sexual encounter.

Session 6 - Joe complains about how Animal Planet is becoming clean, and free of bestiality.

Session 7 - An attempt to lure people away to stop following the naive ways of Christianity, and to worship their penis instead.

Session 8 - Joe talks about his wife, Ashley. Joe doesn't have a wife.

Session 9 - Possibly the worst recording of Doctor Monroe in history. He gets interrupted by MSN midway through.

Session 10 - Nearly a minute of pointless obscene language.

Session 11 - A deeply disturbing minute of Joe hitting the microphone, and sounding scarily like Eric Idle.

Session 12 - Joe talks about his life.

Session 13 - Joe talks about the Communists and their heated bread.

Session 14 - A message for Greg Curzon.

Session 15 - A minute about a naked Chinese man.

Session 16 - Ashley Jackson's body.

Session 17 - Joe follows some advice he gained earlier in the day.

Session 18 - A few sped-up seconds about Doctor S***flap.

Session 19 - Joe has shot his cat. He asks for medical attention. But a hero is on hand!

Session 20 - A poem about horses.

Session 21 - How to make babies, section 2.

Session 22 - Joe is America.

Session 23 - Hello Jack Newman.

Session 24 - Joe talks about spitting on people he dislikes.

Session 25 - If you can work out what the hell Joe is talking about here, email me. I'm fascinated. chris@hiatusmedia.com

Session 26 - Joe is horny. Nothing new there, then.

Session 27 - Joe decides to run over his Dad. In a boat.

Session 28 - Joe makes a loud noise.

Session 29 - Joe talks about 'glue' sniffing.

Session 30 - What was intended to be the definitive Dr. Monroe recording, but turned into drivel because Joe forgot what he was talking about.

Session 31 - Joe talks about eyeglasses.

Session 32 - Some more on the life of Ashley Jackson.

Session 33 - Joe goes cannibalistic, then is turned back to the real world by MSN.

Session 34 - Joe talks about the snakes in his childhood.

Session 35 - Something. See Session 25.

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Saturday, 26 April 2008

How To Be A Homosexual





About

A project spanning two years (and the rest), How To Be A Homosexual was the beginning of a revolution. Sparking interest from all four corners of the globe, the scripts and animation that comprised the project became the foundation for YourHeartWillStop, our old site, and spurred both creators on to greater products.The How To Be A Homosexual scripts were a product of Joseph O'Brien's mind, a selection of surrealist dialogues and random tomfoolery put to paper when he was bored. The characters in these scripts took physical form in an art lesson, where Bunnyreaper drew some small sketches and Pianoabuser enlarged them. These were then brought into Flash, animated, and thus the animation series XavierFace was born. The series ran for six episodes, then stopped - partially for educational reasons, and partially because the birth of YourHeartWillStop was beginning. All of those animations can be found here, along with other goodies.

Episodes

The cartoon series, as has already been mentioned, ran for six episodes. Here you can find them all, including the sixth - an episode never originally released.

How To Be A Homosexual Episodes

Scripts

You can find the scripts, in an act-by-act, scene-by-scene form, here.

How To Be A Homosexual Scripts

Extras

The How To Be A Homosexual Theme

The theme tune was possibly the best thing about XavierFace and How To Be A Homosexual. Nowadays, it resides on the site as the Hiatus Theme, but the essence is the same - 50 seconds of sped-up hard rock bliss.

The Original Trailer

Another little gem, the XavierFace trailer was another work of genius, and probably got the most laughs. Synchronised to the theme tune, it works as a great music video if nothing else.

xfPod

A rather embarrassing take on the iPod adverts of the time. No more to be said on this one.

Old Character Models

The character models for XavierFace went through a few phases, and this page shows you the second. The first ones are lost in a sketch book somewhere, and may resurface at some point. Until then, feast your eyes on this portfolio.

The Future

So what does the future hold for How To Be A Homosexual? In the words of fanboy and sad case Michael Kay, "this is the best thing I've ever seen". It's certainly the biggest project we've ever attempted, and the first that's combined a scripted performance with animation. Even the Goblin was based off a short improv.The honest answer is, we don't know. There have been talks of making a new series, or compiling the best bits from the scripts, using frame-by-frame techniques, starting anew and all sorts, but no action's been taken yet. The reason for this is evident. Take a look at HiatusMedia.com - this is the extent to which we work, and focusing purely on one project hinders us creatively. HiatusMedia is created for whims and fancies, and something on the scale of How To Be A Homosexual...well, it's a miracle it lasted so long in the first place.

Then again, keep your eyes peeled. There may be life in this yet.

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Monday, 21 April 2008

Sketches

Over the years, in lieu of pursuing more literary tastes, Joseph has from time to time pursued the profession of visual artistry, in the form of a series of sketches. Here, we present the cream of the crop – thirty-five hand-picked sketches for you to peruse.

The images are split into four discrete groups of ten, so as to enable the viewer to avoid bewilderment. Click through to any of them below.

PLEASE NOTE: Although none of the following images are photographic, and all are hand-drawn with little or no actual resemblance to actual forms, some of the content that follows the links below could be seen as mildly offensive. Viewers younger than 15 years of age should not proceed.

Sketches One to Ten

Sketches Eleven to Twenty

Sketches Twenty-one to Thirty

Sketches Thirty-one to Thirty-five

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